Reflecting

I haven't updated my blog in over a year and half..... partly because it is too painful to remember life in LT and how different my life is now. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm where the LORD wants me, but that doesn't negate the fact that my heart often grieves serving in LT...or just serving in the capacity; to be doing full time ministry.

God called me to go and tell and now He has called me to stay and tell. I'm figuring out what that looks like; figuring out what it looks like to be a missionary to my own culture. To bring my real life to my real world.

I woke up this morning to the wind blowing on my face and it smelled like spring in Lithuania. When I became fully coherent, I was disappointed to realize I wasn't really there and memories came flooding in. Memories of walking down Laisves Aleja as the tress are changing, and flowers are showing their first appearance after a long dark colorless winter, talking to students about life. Or walking around the university campus with the warmer wind blowing, praying for a revival to take place and for the students to experience true freedom for the first time.

It's mornings like this, where I have to look at my tattoo and remember LT really did happen, even though most days it feels like a dream. I got my tattoo on the year anniversary of being back from LT. It says, "Nepamirsk" which means "don't forget" in Lithuanian. It reminds me to reflect and remember how God worked in LT and in my own life. How I'm not and never will be the same person I was before LT, and hopefully some students, as well. To remember that God is faithful and that He is good and that in the darkest moments of my life, He will be there and He will heal the wounded and broken places.

To remember to tell of His good deeds, and to ultimately remember He is not done with me. He still has great plans for me.....here.

Deuteronomy 4:9 is also apart of my tattoo which says;

"Only take care and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them know to your children and your children's children."

So today Lord, I am remembering.

Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for calling me. Thank you for using me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for changing me.

To YOU be the glory forever and ever.